Shame On You

Shame on you for asking what she was wearing.

Shame on you for blaming bared shoulders, big boobs, or a short skirt.

Shame on you for accusing her of teasing him or leading him on.

Shame on you for saying she was asking for it.

Shame on you for telling her that she should be grateful, for implying that she enjoyed it.

Shame on you for saying she’s only speaking up because she regrets having sex with him. Because she wants to ruin his life. Because she wants attention.

Shame on you for chiding that she shouldn’t have been out at that time of night, shouldn’t have been walking alone.

Shame on you for saying she should have fought back harder, should have screamed louder.

Shame on you for declaring that a woman loses her autonomy when she dares to be born pretty.

Shame on you for calling flirting a “yes.”

Shame on you for calling nakedness a “yes.”

Shame on you for calling her choice to drink a “yes.”

Shame on you for saying “no” could be a “yes” in disguise.

Shame on you for saying her title – girlfriend, significant other, partner, wife – is a “yes” by default.

Shame on you for calling anything but a “yes” a “yes.”

 

8 thoughts on “Shame On You

    1. Hey thanks. 🙂 I’d been wanting to write about this topic for a while, but after our conversation the other day, I figured there’s no time like the present!

    1. Thank you for stopping by, Danielle! This particular issue has been on my heart lately. I really hate that people would sooner lecture girls to travel in packs wearing burlap sacks than they would to teach men not to sexually assault or rape them.

  1. So agree with all of those, so hard. The clothing issues really drive me crazy. What I wear just absolutely does not affect my experiences with street harassment. I’ve encountered creepers in a huge hoodie with the hood pulled up, and I’ve had them bend down to peek under my umbrella when I’m all wrapped up. These people are just looking for someone who’s alone and vulnerable.

    1. This post is more about victims of sexual assault or rape, but I totally agree about the street harassment thing! It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing, how your hair is done, if you’re in high heels, or how much makeup you’re wearing; none of these things warrant harassment.

  2. LOVE this! I seriously would love to never hear one of these excuses again. Like her drinking is the cause, but his drinking is the excuse. So sick of having to have to have this argument with people

    1. Exactly! There seems to be a completely different set of standards when it comes to men’s behavior, and I don’t get it.

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