The Effect of Celebrity Depends On Your Gender

On the drive home from work the other night, I got to thinking about how – in general – fame treats men and women very differently.

More often than not, men become egocentric douchebags and women self-destruct.

Which isn’t a surprise, considering the obscene level of scrutiny that women are subjected to. It makes sense that they would start to crumble from the pressure.

I mean, after all…

They can’t wear unflattering or baggy clothing, workout attire or sweatpants. But they also can’t look too sexy or show too much skin.

They can’t be seen in the same outfit more than once, but it’s also wrong to wear multiple outfits in one day.

They can’t be too heavy, but they can’t be too thin. Even pregnancy weight is shameful, and after the baby is born they need to work to lose it ASAP.

Their boobs can’t be too small, but their butts can’t be too big. Really, nothing on their body can be disproportionate.

They can’t look too old. But if they get plastic surgery because they are insecure about their age, they’re also criticized.

Actually, they shouldn’t get cosmetic surgery for any reason. Nor should they have mastectomies for their own health, because think about how disappointing it is to lose a perfect pair of breasts.

They need to smile more often. They can’t look too tan. They should do everything they can to maintain their appearance.

And don’t even think about leaving the house without makeup on.

Even though they earn awards and make good money, they somehow still suck at their jobs. But if they try something new – even just for fun – they’re slammed for that as well.

In interviews, instead of hard-hitting or interesting questions, they are asked about their diets or their wardrobes.

They can’t write lyrics that are too personal, but they also can’t sing songs that are too superficial or generic.

When they get into an unexpected relationship, it must be for the attention. But when they choose to stay single, they have to explain themselves.

And even if they make incredible contributions to society or are protofeminist badasses, the world remembers them for being a pretty face.

As soon as a woman makes it big, everyone in the world feels entitled to dissect everything about her. And if you don’t measure up to that impossible standard, you’re trash.

That’s why part of me is scared to get recognition on even a small scale – because who would wish for any of that?

Shame On You

Shame on you for asking what she was wearing.

Shame on you for blaming bared shoulders, big boobs, or a short skirt.

Shame on you for accusing her of teasing him or leading him on.

Shame on you for saying she was asking for it.

Shame on you for telling her that she should be grateful, for implying that she enjoyed it.

Shame on you for saying she’s only speaking up because she regrets having sex with him. Because she wants to ruin his life. Because she wants attention.

Shame on you for chiding that she shouldn’t have been out at that time of night, shouldn’t have been walking alone.

Shame on you for saying she should have fought back harder, should have screamed louder.

Shame on you for declaring that a woman loses her autonomy when she dares to be born pretty.

Shame on you for calling flirting a “yes.”

Shame on you for calling nakedness a “yes.”

Shame on you for calling her choice to drink a “yes.”

Shame on you for saying “no” could be a “yes” in disguise.

Shame on you for saying her title – girlfriend, significant other, partner, wife – is a “yes” by default.

Shame on you for calling anything but a “yes” a “yes.”